Why can't we be friends?
I am going to write this column and most people probably will look at me funny afterwards but I have noticed something wrong with our society and I don’t like it. I have three best friends, two of them are guys.
However, it is seemingly impossible for me to be friends with a male without supposedly dating him. Boys and girls, they can’t just be friends! I can be walking around the track with a guy friend and people will walk straight up to us and say “OH! You two are so cute together! You should date.” Uh, no! First off, I’m thirteen; I have no use for a boyfriend. I have no reason to have a boyfriend. I don’t care if it is cool for little girls to have boys that they “go out” with, I have friends and some of them are boys. That does not mean they are my boyfriends.
Also, it’s apparently against the “status quo” to go to a concert, game, or movie with a person of the opposite gender without people considering you to be “in a relationship”, at least it is according to most of the students and adults that I know. I honestly think that this does more harm than good for the kids in question. It puts pressure on kids to be in relationships. Sometimes I think that the kids in my school are in relationships because they think it’s cool. And honestly, that is not a reason to be in a relationship. That is what happens though. People say “oh kids these days…” ….excuse me….I say “oh grown-ups these days.” Personally, I get along better with most guys than girls. Guys are low drama. Guys are funny, and geeky, and smart, and they understand my random geek remarks. I don’t have to worry about them judging me by my clothes or how I talk. To guys, I’m funny because I quote movies. To guys, I’m smart. I love sitting at lunch with my girls, but I don’t want to sit there talking about movie stars and makeup, when I could be sitting in a group of guys talking about video games and movies.
And then there is my best friend, who is a girl. Now, you would think that people would accept that two girls could be best friends. Oh…hold up now…that isn’t true anymore either. When two girls are friends and neither have a boyfriend, there is another term that people might think up. The words gay and lesbian are used way more than they should be. Has anyone stopped to think that maybe, the fact that adults ask the question is the reason that kids start to wonder? I know who I am. I have no reason to fear the answer to the question.
For a lot of kids though, that isn’t the case. When I feel the need to explain to people that my friends who are girls are not my girlfriends, it’s pretty sad to me. And then, what if a kid does think that he or she is homosexual?
That doesn’t mean they are a horrible person and need picked on. Frankly, the word gay, in the technical term, means ‘beautiful or wonderful’. People shouldn’t be labeled by their preferred gender. Even the Bible categorizes “men who lie with men” in the same statement as “fornicators” and “adulterers.” Look up those definitions and tell me who fits. People can be straight, or gay, or confused. They are not bad people.
People have this problem...they find any flaw in another person’s life, and they will base their entire life on one decision. I do have friends that prefer their same gender, and I go places outside of school with them. I know that some people who have that preference and can be the most amazing people in the world, pure role models. Their preference in relationships makes no difference.
Sometimes I believe that even the smartest people in the world have no idea exactly how to grasp the concept that all humans are equal no matter the circumstances.
I don’t really have much hope for things to change. My little sister is in third grade and her best friend just told her that they weren’t friends anymore because they have a crush on one of my sister’s friends who is a boy.
She is in third grade. And the parents watch this and think it’s cute or funny for kids in third grade to have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you want to go by statistics, any boyfriend that I have now will not be my boyfriend in 5 years. So why would I ruin friendships by putting that tension there? Why do kids and adults have to assume that it is there? I can talk about this stuff with my mom without any fear of her reaction.
So I challenge all parents out there, can your kids say the same? Or would they feel like they have to hide things from you? Be honest.
So, why can’t we just be friends? …With guys, with homosexuals, with heterosexuals, with anyone? Why can’t we just live like we don’t have to put up with all the tension that social stigma put on us? Why can’t we be friends?